For the first time in my life I feel like I am REALLY changing. I am finally able to admit to myself that maybe my old way of living is not what is best for me. Maybe there is a reason that I was always so depressed...maybe because I wasn't living life the way that I was created to live it.
I know that I will always be the same Emily, with the same heart and mind. But somehow I feel that in order to survive (or just enjoy my life) I need a change. For a while, I wasn't sure if I was the one that needed to change or if I should just wait for life to change for me. I think that it's a combination of both. I think that life has started to change (without asking for my permission), and now I must learn to adapt to the changes. Time to be a good sport and keep playing. I don't know.
It's hard to change. Because I'm used to the way things used to be, and used to the person that I used to be. But sometimes...you don't have any other choice but to take a good long look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself "Is this working?"
And sometimes, it's not working at all... at all. You can know yourself to the core but if you are not living life the way that you are wired to live it, you're never going to be happy.
I wish I knew exactly what steps to take from here, but I'm just hoping that I will start to learn more about myself than I ever have. That's really all that I can hope for! Who said change had to be a bad thing?
I know that I will see a lot of good come out of this time in my life if I stay true to who I am and keep believing that the future is bright!
Em
